1:1 In-ay e-thay eginning-bay Od-gay eated-cray e-thay eaven-hay

Yesterday was one of those life milestones (i.e., 37th birthday) where it seemed like it would be a good time to take stock of my life. How do I do this? I go to the website Things Other People Accomplished When They Were Your Age.
What a mistake! My day is absolutely ruined when I discover that Earl Vickers has already translated the entire Bible into Pig Latin. What am I to do with my life now?

Earl-ay Ickers-vay you-ay astard-bay!